Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Why am i struggling to update?

lately I have been struggling a little bit, and not being good at getting my head around stuff. the last few weeks, months even, have been frantic. There is now denying that. I have been pulled in all direction by many people who need me, and finally have a little bit of breathing space, and am feeling lost again. Life is returning to something resembling normal, and I cant seem to move on completly from the place we were in before. I still go to ask Peter if he has his back-up, mobile etc. And I still worry about leaving him alone in the house. This transistion from carer-of-husband-in-need-of-a-new-heart to normal wife is very very hard.

Also, Nicole has become very anxious and weepy lately. She is scared she will die, that Peter will die, that i will die. She has been asking about how parts of the body work and whats happens if they stop working. She is so scared, and has cried a lot over the last week.

I just want to weep with her, as a seven year old shouldn't be feeling like this. She shouldn't have had to deal with this at all. I know we have had a happy ending, but there was so much stress into getting to this place.

Last week, I started a sponsered slim. The link is in the post below. I am aiming on losing 4stone in 12months, but hoping to beat that. Today was my first weigh in, and I have lost 4lb.


Tinypoppet said...

hey Sarah

you guys have been through a really massive experience. As I was in for so long my weepy down moments all came whilst I was still in intensive care. But you guys were quick as lightening and home before anyone could blink, so I am not surprised it is all catching up on you.

You are almost living with a different person now, his needs and your needs will all have changed and it will take time to ajust to that.

Allow yourself time to get used to it, things will settle down as you get used to this new Peter, one or two things (such as being brave enough to take a bath alone in the house) took me months to do, so take it slowly. xx

Anonymous said...

Aww, Misdee, sounds hard.

You've all shown 'superhuman' endurance and courage over the last few years. It's to be expected, I think, that it will take some time to work the stress and fear out of your systems.

Our thoughts stay with you all.