Well its been a very eventful month. Peter was palced back on the list which was good, small stroke, infection, infection, and oh another infection.
He is in a lot of pain especially around his VAD site. The wound has been bleeding freely for a few weeks, he has had a haemotoma in his stomache, his INR went too high so he was just pouring blood after injections and blood tests. He was wanting to give up and i honestly dont blame him. He was on the phone so much telling me he couldnt do this anymore and it tore me apart as i was so far away and couldnt help.
He is on fairly strong painkillers, and they are talking about setting up a spinal block so he can painfree for a while, but due to his INR problems and the bleeding it could essentially make things worse with regards to bleeding. It weighing up the pros and cons, to be painfree will be amazing for him as he has been in pain for the last 5months, so even a few hours releif would be great, but what if they cant stop the bleeding from where they site the needle?
So far, no transplant call, It so hard waiting. If the phone rings too early in the mornings or late at night, then i feel a sense of dread in my chest continously thinking 'is this it? is this call going to change our lives?' And each day i pray that a call will come, but then feel guilty as in reality i am praying for someone who is a match to die. It really confuses me.
too late to be contemplating all this, so will try and fill the rest in in the morning.